herbal mint

i got the essence!

for the first time, i spend it.

there is no one who can stop me for this time.

once and for all.

please stop haunting me through my dreams!

it's killing me inside when i sleep at night and you come to haunting on me through my dreams. can't you just get off from my mind?
happy for previous two days i can sleep tight. thank to another you :) but when another you disappear, you come back to haunting me on my dreams! eeerrrgggghhhh! i need to stop it. i don't wanna come back to every laugh we've spent together in my past.
you've just had your new life. i need to move on but why you always there in the corner of my mind? ggggrrrrrrr.

BUTTERFLY

feel like i'm a butterfly.

i have a fragile heart like the wings of a butterfly.

i'm free as a butterfly dancing above the flowers.

i'm beautiful outside but fragile inside.

it's too easy too catch me.

i make changes from time to time as i did metamorphosis.

it's a thank you for made me feel better than before, so i can sleep tight last night :)

all i need is a smile, a joke, a laugh to make me feel better. don't have to know what's going on with me. don't have to know who the hell i'm inside. just look at me as you saw me outside. it's me in my shadow of happiness.
it's a thank you for made me feel better than before, so i can sleep tight last night :)

i pretend to be okay and i keep a smile on my face, but inside i'm dying.

finally after the last time crying in the early months of January, i'm crying again now. i'm tired. i'm tired of being a shadow of something that is not me. to pretend that everything around me fine. but apparently not! all fake! i live in a falsehood that i created myself as a false image of myself.

i'm tired of trying to accept everything that is around me. i'm tired of saying "yes" when i want to say "no". i'm tired of smiling in front of the crowd when my heart cried out in pain.

in fact, even though i smile and look happy even really happy, there was one side at the corner of me that most hidden, i'm sad, i cry, i hurt, i was disappointed, and i'm tired.

femmedrenaline

i'm really enjoying my life :) there are more and more happiness each day. thank you for being around, girls. xoxo

falling for someone who is so desperately out of reach

UNTOUCHABLE by Taylor Swift

untouchable like a distant diamond sky
i'm reaching out and i just can't tell you why

i'm caught up in you
i'm caught up in you

untouchable
burning brighter than the sun
and when you're close i feel like coming undone

in the middle of the night
when i'm in this dream
it's like a million little stars
spelling out your name
you gotta come on, come on
say that we'll be together
come on, come on
little taste of heaven

it's half full and i won't wait here all day

i know you're saying that you'll be here anyway

but you're untouchable
burning brighter than the sun
now that you're close i feel like coming undone

in the middle of the night
when i'm in this dream
it's like a million little stars
spelling out your name
you gotta come on, come on
say that we'll be together
come on, come on
oh

in the middle of the night
we could form this dream

i wanna feel you by my side
standing next to me
you gotta come on, come on
say that we'll be together
come on, come on
little taste of heaven

oh, oh
i'm caught up in you
oh, oh, oh

untouchable
burning brighter than the sun
and when you're close i feel like coming undone

in the middle of the night
when i'm in this dream
it's like a million little stars
spelling out your name
you gotta come on, come on
say that we'll be together
come on, come on
oh, oh

in the middle of the night
when i'm in this dream
It’s like a million little stars
spelling out your name
you gotta come on, come on
say that we'll be together
come on, come on
little taste of heaven

where are you? what are you doing? zzzzzz.

 



IF YOU REALLY WANT ME, THEN DO SOMETHING TO CATCH ME NOW!





 

GIVE UP!

When You Love Someone by Endah N Rhesa :)

i love you but it's not so easy to make you here with me

i wanna touch and hold you forever
but you're still in my dream
and i can't stand to wait ‘till nite is coming to my life
but i still have a time to break a silence
when you love someone
just be brave to say that you want him to be with you
when you hold your love
don't ever let it go
or you will loose your chance
to make your dreams come true...
 

i used to hide and watch you from a distance and i knew you realized

i was looking for a time to get closer at least to say... “hello”
and i can't stand to wait your love is coming to my life
when you love someone
just be brave to say that you want him to be with you
when you hold your love
don't ever let it go
or you will loose your chance
to make your dreams come true...

and i never thought that i'm so strong

i stuck on you and wait so long
but when love comes it can't be wrong
don't ever give up just try and try to get what you want
cause love will find the way....
when you love someone
just be brave to say that you want him to be with you
when you hold your love
don't ever let it go
or you will loose your chance
to make your dreams come true...

BEST thing

the BEST thing i ever had till now is FAMILY. so lucky to have them :) karena gg semua orang seberuntung kita yang masih punya keluarga lengkap.

I ♥ MY MOM
she is a wonder mom. udah jadi hal biasa jadi seorang ibu rumah tangga sekaligus wanita karir. bangga punya mama seperti beliau :) walaupun disertai dengan kecerewetannya dan hal-hal lainnya yang kadang bikin kesel di hati, tapi beliau adalah orang yang paling mencintai gw tanpa pamrih. seletih apapun keseharian beliau, beliau dengan setia menjaga gw, dedek gw dan bokap gw. love you terribly much, mom :)

I ♥ MY DAD
he is a super dad. orang yang paling baik sedunia! gg ada yang bisa mengalahkan kebaikan beliau deh! sumpah sangat teramat baik sampai kadang gg tega kalau mau minta lebih. sayang banget sama papa :)

I ♥ MY MONSTER
i mean my sister. hehehe. walaupun dia sering bikin kesel, sebel, marah dan EERRGGHH, tapi dia adalah dedek gw yang KOCAK! dia selalu bisa bikin gw ketawa puas tiap dia cerita keseharian dia, temen-temen dia, bahkan gebetan hingga pacarnya. she's not a good listener but she's a good story teller. i love you, dek :)

this is the TRUTH!

post in Bahasa and lil bit in English :)

setelah dibuat MUAK TOTAL sama facebook dan mulai jarang buka facebook sampe males banget buka facebook karena OKNUM yang malesyiiin abis, sekarang jadi mulai meninggalkan sedikit demi sedikit twitter karena OKNUM yang sama akan membuat suasana di dunia perTWITTERan jadi malesyin.
gw bukan tipe orang yang suka ngeremove atau ngeunfollow orang yang uda jadi friend atau following gw cause i'm not a LOSER, dude.
dan tampaknya bloggerlah yang jadi juara tempat gw buat numpahin semua yang ada di pikiran gw tanpa ada gangguan dari OKNUM-OKNUM yang super duper annoying banget ALAYnya.
i'm so sorry for saying the TRUTH that you just kind of ALAY i ever know. you just NOTHING! i still wondering whatcha doing with a girl like that? eeewwwww! makin bikin gw MUAK seMUAKnya MUAK tau gg!
*for some people who close to me, u'll know who i really mean. hahaha.

cukup segitu tumpahan luap-luap keMUAKan yang akhir-akhir ini berputar-putar di kepala gw. gw sudah sangat menikmati hidup gw yang sekarang loh =) my life was so great and greater each day. i love everything in my life. my life was so PERFECT! i don't have to think for disgusting thing anymore. hey, i'm moving on and i'm enjoying it :)

change

why i put "change" as my title of my post now? this is the reason why.


i changed my blogger layout into a simplier one.
i changed my blogger song with you belong with me by taylor swift.
everything in my life was changed and i do love it :)

why i changed my blogger layout and song? the reason is my heart was changing. i don't know, but i do feel in love with my unreal friend. we knowned each other since we're in senior high school. agree that love is BLIND. hahahaha.
this blog is about my heart, and my heart box was changing into a new one.
it's up and down just like a rollercoaster. sometimes he's there and sometimes he's not there. and all i can do just wondering where are you, my MR. UNREAL?
i'm laughing for this thing seriously, cause i thought it just kind of a BLIND LOVE. and the question is, am i really in love with someone and something unreal and uncertain? i'm playing with illusion, hallucination or whatever we named it.
this is what my heart says.....it's whispering sometimes screaming a question, "am i really in love?"

smile smile smile smile smile :)

first of all, thank Nelly Wulansari for the support. yeah, u're right this is "Heart Box of Lieya", so i can write anything i'm gonna write here no matter what :)

my life getting brighter now :) thank you for all love from everybody around. love y'all and i don't wanna lost it or changed it to something uncertain anymore.

thank for the laugh and for the smile everytime u're around in my unreal world.
even we known each other since long time ago, we both still live in undefined world.
that's what i called unreal world before. everytime you text me, everytime you reply my text and everytime we keep in touch in unreal world, a smile will hanging in my face even you don't ever know it. i don't know, maybe i was wrong translated all the thing that happened between us. cause for me, it's still unreal. yeah, UNREAL. you or me and us never make it real. we both seem likes waiting waiting and waiting till one of us move first. nobody gonna start it. and all i can do just waiting and waiting till you miss me.
when i text you, it means i miss you. when i don't, it means i'm waiting for you to miss me.
and now, i'm waiting for your text.
mmmm, maybe it's crazy. but i do need you to make me smile, to make me laugh honestly :) keep the smile on my face :) :) :) :) :) thank you for every laugh, every smile you made on my face and a spoonful of happiness you bring, MR. UNREAL.