i pretend to be okay and i keep a smile on my face, but inside i'm dying.

finally after the last time crying in the early months of January, i'm crying again now. i'm tired. i'm tired of being a shadow of something that is not me. to pretend that everything around me fine. but apparently not! all fake! i live in a falsehood that i created myself as a false image of myself.

i'm tired of trying to accept everything that is around me. i'm tired of saying "yes" when i want to say "no". i'm tired of smiling in front of the crowd when my heart cried out in pain.

in fact, even though i smile and look happy even really happy, there was one side at the corner of me that most hidden, i'm sad, i cry, i hurt, i was disappointed, and i'm tired.