You were it, my first love, I think the closest I’ve ever come. We weren’t perfect for each other, we were exact opposites, and we fought constantly. But you made me so insanely happy, and vice versa. I know I did, from your smile down to your demands for hugs in the morning. We didn’t last long. I got too close and you took off, taking my heart with you.
I spent months trying to recover, trying desperately to recover. At first, falling in love with you, it felt like I was drowning, but the water was warm so it almost felt luxurious, enjoyable, like moving through warm honey. But then, you left, and it was like the water turned to ice and lungs started to jam up and I couldn't breathe. I was struggling, kicking, failing to get to the top, because my heart felt dead. My limbs felt frozen in place, and I have no clue how I reached the surface. But I did, and the first breath I took was so painful, and the second, and the third. Eventually, I could hold myself up but I was still shivering for a while, even after I dragged myself out of that water. I spent 6 months, trying desperately to pull myself up, I was frozen all over.
I can’t keep drowning for you.
S.W.S.N
