sincerely, i'm still crying

nobody knows. even i really want to stop crying and i do much activities to forget it, suddenly i'm crying. i don't know why i'm such that crybaby. hhhhhh. i don't wanna share about these tear to anybody else.

life isn't just how to survive in the storm but also how to dance in the rain - that quote comes from my fav writer, Sitta Karina.

hidup itu bukan hanya untuk bertahan dikala ada cobaan atau badai tsunami atau apalah itu namanya. bukan hanya bertahan dikala susah. tapi juga bahagia disaat kau menangis. itu yang gw tangkep dari sepenggal tulisan beliau. dan gw masih berusaha buat senyum walaupun sebenernya gw nangis. gg ada yang tau kalau gw masih nangis tiap hari. keluarga gw gg tau, bahkan mereka gg pernah tau kalau gw lagi sedih. gw emg munafik orangnya! gw gg mau nunjukkin kesedihan dan tangisan gw di depan keluarga atau bahkan mungkin sama orang-orang yang berseliweran di kehidupan gw. gw cuma pengen keluarga gw tau kalau gw bahagia. itu cukup. dengan cara itu gw sayang sama mereka. gw gg mau mereka sampe tau kalau gw sedih dan lagi gg bahagia. dengan mereka tau gw bahagia, mereka pasti bahagia juga. itu yang ada dipikiran gw. mungkin gw salah dan terlalu keras kepala, tapi itulah cara gw. CARA GW BEDA! nyahahahahahaha :))

walaupun pas lagi nulis blog ini gw masih dalam keadaan labil, tapi gw masih berusaha buat sedikit tertawa atau sedikit melucu walau gw tau itu gg lucu koq.
i'm not that funny girl.

he's my sillySHENDY in my past or gonna be my past exactly. i don't really make it happen for sure. but i have to. it's all for him. and just for him. always make my wish or hope or whatever i called it the last priority.

WHO'S GONNA BE UNDERSTAND ON ME WHEN I FEEL THIS WAY?
-and i answered: nobody. nobody gonna understand what i'm feeling.

LOVE♥ why does it hurt? why does it ache? maybe because we love too much and too deep that sometimes we forget to keep a little for ourselves. sad but true.

let me love you just the way i am. don't make me jailed this soul. and what i'm doing now are love you with the way i'm not and i jailed this soul. this soul need to be free, not to be jailed. why does this punishment belong to me? gooossshh!
I REALLY WANT MY FREE SOUL BACK JUST LIKE THE WAY I LOVE YOU. forget it, it just something from my soul not from my mind. and i'm just doing such heart screaming.